Saturday night: the air is cool, the night is dark and I'm home. Hello again people. After a long pause from Lj, I'm back with a random update/post. I realized that I haven't updated since July 27 and that was a considerably long time ago.  I've done a lot better from the last few days of casual depression. Maybe that's why I didn't update, I was too sad. I seriously was just sitting at home, sad. Not a good thing to see, by the way. I'm not a pretty sight to see when I'm melancholic. It's upsetting to see me sad.

Well, what's important now is I'm better. I've got a new outlook on life and it's keeping me alive. :D Thank you f-list who continually read my crap-o posts. >:D< I &hearts; you all.

And here goes the abrupt ending again. 8D

Today is Monday. I'm at home. It's bittersweet that I'm home. But when there's home stays, there's updates. So behold the update on my livejournal. Let's see what we've got filed away in my mind today. Hopefully it won't take much unearthing to fill this entry up. My mind isn't exactly cooperating right now, but I will do my best. Come on brain, make words...

Why am I home today? Oh, because there are certain government activities that are restraining me from going to school. Yep, the president is giving her last State of the Nation Address of her presidential term. How much do I care about what she says at that speech? Not much, really. Why'd I even mention that anyway? Blog filler. Ohoho. Anyway, because of that, I am indeed home and bored. Who cares if I have a midterm and report to do? Lazy. That's bad.

And in unrelated news, I regrettably gained a twitter account. I don't know if I'll use it long-term but as of right now, I'll use it. Whatev, if I don't want it any more, I'll just eliminate it later. Haha, eliminate. To those in twitterland, follow me: tempura03. I'll be able to reply to you immediately if you do. Then we'd be e-buddies! 8D

AGH. My mind! It has no words.

<end>

Fridays are my free days, not only because it's rainy and stuff today but because I really don't have class on Fridays. So, if I'm not busy (like today), journaling will be done on these days. Fridays are God's gift to Lasallians. Ahaha. Anyway, what have I been up to recently? Nothing of particular interest, mostly just school stuff but there are some highlights this week. I'll get into those in a minute. Okay, there aren't some highlights, there are quite a lot. Fine, I'll get on with it.

These highlights and/or rants are not in any particular order. I'll talk about what comes to mind first.

1. Block Bonding.
Location: Sherwood
Date: July 15, Wednesday

It was the official first free-cut of LR33. We had the longest break in known LR33 history, so we all planned to go to Sherwood. I will not explain what the hell that is because I don't want to. We decided to go drink. Yes, that kind. I thought it was all well and good. A generally-good idea. It was 'til around 2:00pm. What I learned was things like that can go bad really fast. REAL FAST. There was a lot of blackouting and puking. It was both a party and a fiasco. Classic Frosh syndrome. It was fun and disgusting all at the same time.

And the worst part, we still had class at 4:10pm.

So, what could I do? I called for parental assistance. My mother gave me advice on what to do. Thankfully, I listened to what she's been telling me for the past few conversations. I didn't blackout, throw up or get excessively drunk. I survived my first encounter. XD After all that mess was dealt with, we walked back to school and attended our only subject for the day. Religion. Oh yippee. Sure I had a headache from the everything but yeah, I still went. I got to class I was really sleepy but I managed to get through it. It was fine up until the last few minutes of the class.

Our blockmate went into a state of hyperventilation. SCARY.

So, we rushed her to the clinic. Medical emergencies scare me, that's what I learned. Seriously, at one point, our blockmate wasn't breathing. You can just imagine the look on my face. Pure shock. Utter panic, all that together. I was so scared that my headache/hangover was gone because my adrenaline was so high. That bad. It was one of those days that shouldn't repeat. Ever.

Thankfully, everyone was better by the next day.

2. Cutter Girl
Location: School
Date: July 14, Tuesday

Tuesdays are now my busiest days of the week because our Physics lecture got moved from Thursday to Tuesday. 2 hours of PE then an hour of Physics, imagine the tyranny. I abhor it. It's perfectly undesirable. So, you know what I did? I skipped the Physics lecture. Yeah, I did. I didn't miss much anyway, according to my blockmates. Don't worry, I'll only do that once. I just really needed a break from the schooling hours and I needed to eat. So that's what I did, I ate lunch and hung out with one other blockmate who came with me. We chatted for a good bit, talking about things like ghosts and annoying people we don't like.

Let me take this time now to bash talk about this one person who is irritating me to high heavens now. Codename: Cassidy. (sorry to the people out there named Cassidy, I just need a name that isn't remotely like her name.) And if you, Cassidy, know that this is you and you're reading, TAKE A HINT WILL YOU.

She's such a copycat, overdramatic loser. She has the physical incapacity to do anything remotely unique. I swear. At first I thought it was just a coincidence, but dear me was I wrong. She just kept going, digging her own grave. Generally, I'm a patient person, but after a few years of the same pattern, who wouldn't get sick of it and just give up? Come on. I don't know if Cassidy even knows that she has this behavior. I pray that she does.

Honestly, I think that she acts this way because she has this insatiable desire to fit in with everyone (even though nobody really wants her to fit in with them). Where the desire comes from, probably some deep-seeded family issue or something. But bitch, please. I have no more sympathy to spare for your sob stories and "problems of dire relevance". You've been running to me for years and all your problems sound the same to me. I don't want to listen to you anymore, I give up on you. I can't help you when you can't even help yourself. I wash my hands of Cassidy.

I want to be friends with everyone but I am only human, limited by certainties. So now, instead of wasting my valued time and energy getting mad at Cassidy, I'll just cut her out of my life. She's blacklisted and it'll take a lot of groveling to get herself back on my good side.

And end bash.

3. Tickle Fights and Rainy Days
Location: School and thensome
Date: July 16, Thursday

This Thursday was a fun day. Sure it was rainy but it was really fun anyway because we were all recalling what happened the day before. We laughed so much that it hurt. It was so much better than the day before. Also, it was the day before the weekend started, so we were all glad that the schoolweek was about to be over. Thursdays are easy enough days to get through.

Plus, our last subject was another free-cut. Added joy. :) So what do you do when your last subject bails? Have fun with your blockmates playing video games, laughing with/at everyone and watching a tickle fight. And then we went out to eat. Nice. :)

That's basically my week. I'd update more but I'm out of words. XD Bye eloquence, 'til next week baby.

[Just please, read. I could use some good advice or a listening ear right now]

Alam kong alam mo kung sinong pinag-uusapan dito. Kung pwede, basahin nalang. Huwag sanang huminto, salamat.

Lagi na lang akong pinagsasabihan na dapat mag-usap na tayo. Kolehiyo na daw tayo, magbati na at magkaayos sa mga bagay-bagay. Ganun. Eh, kung ganun lang kadali yun, dapat matagal ko nang ginawa diba? Syempre, sino bang gustong mawalay sa kaibigang ganyan? Wala naman siguro, ano. Pero, ano naman ang magagawa ko kung di talaga magkakaayos?

Ayoko namang pilitin na magkabati. Ayoko rin naman na manatili ang nangyayari ngayon. Pa'no na nga ba? Wala na ata akong magagawa. Wala na akong mapagpilian sa ganitong pangyayari eh. Hayaan na lang ba? Nagdaan na ang limang buwan ng taong 2009, di parin magkausap. Parang bulang naglaho lang yung pinagdaanan nung nakaraan. Sino ba ang may pagkakamali dito? Sino pa ba, eh di ako.

Mahirap ang maalala na di kayo magkaayusan ng iyong dating malapit na kaibigan, diba? Syempre.

Ayan, hinanakit ko nanaman. Umeeksena na muli. Kasi naman, nasasayangan ako dun sa mga pangyayari eh. Pasensya na pero, talaga lang. SAYANG talaga eh. Sa ganung bagay lang, di tayo magkaayus-ayos? Anung klaseng katarantaduhan yun? Kagaguhan. Bwiset, sige na. Makikinig na ako sa pinagsasabi nila, nais kong makipagbati sayo o kahit mag-usap man lang ng maayos. Pwede ba yun? Maaari ba yun?

Makikinig ka ba?

(Pumapalpak ang aking Filipino. Grabe, nasabawan ako dun ah...)

TRANSLATION! (for those who don't get what the hell I just typed)

I know that you know who I'm talking about here. If you could, just read. Hopefully, without stopping, thanks.

I've always been told that we should talk. We're in college now, they say, we should make up and fix whatever things that concern us. Like that. But, if it were that easy, I would've done that a long time ago, right? Of course, who would want to be separated from a friend in that manner? Nobody, I presume. But, what can I do if there really is no chance of fixing this?

I don't want to force a make-up. I don't want things to stay the way they are either. How will this work, eh? I don't think there's anything else I can do. I don't have a choice in this situation. Should we just leave it? Five months have passed in the year 2009 and still no talking. It's like everything we've been through previously just disappeared like foam. Who is at fault here? Who else, it's me.

It's hard to remember that you still haven't made up with your once close friend, right? Of course.

There, it's my spite again. It's making a scene. Because, I find it such a waste, all that's happened. Forgive me but, really. It's SUCH a waste. We can't fix something so simple? What kind of crass is this? Idiocy. Damn it, here. I'll listen to what they've been saying to me, I would like to make friends with you or at least talk to you nicely. Is that okay? Can that be?

Will you listen?